Mom Friends
Having kids changes the “friend” dynamic, especially for women. We strive to keep our old friendships, but they’ve changed because this MAJOR life change has happened! Your schedule is different, your family time includes a baby schedule, when you are off work you may be exhausted or you may just want that extra time with the new addition.
In the midst of all these changes, we long for that friend that we can just be ourselves with. Someone that will listen to your baby stories, let you vent about the number of diapers you’ve changed today, understands how hard it is to drop off a child at daycare or knows the struggle of balancing a stressful career with the lack of sleep that comes with kids.
So we want this friend, but we all have this moment where we feel like we are back in middle school. We feel awkward! Even if we are confident, independent, successful women, we have these terrifying negative thoughts.
What if they don’t like me?
What if they don’t like my kid?
What if I say something dumb?
What if the toddler has a meltdown?
AND then there are the excuses…
I don’t really have time.
I should go straight home.
They don’t really need any more people to come to that event.
I’m not very good at xyz so I’ll just wait until they do something else.
I’m too tired.
It’s better to just go home, I mean I’ve been gone all day!
AND what about the lies?
No one else has this problem.
There must be something wrong with me.
Why does everyone else have all these friends?
Having a friend (or two) to walk this mom journey with is important (and scary).
Here are some great ways to meet new people and start a connection OR reconnect with an old friend! WHAT IF this friend needs you as much as you need them!
Be intentional. You have to commit to really wanting this and realizing it takes some effort and risk to make it happen.
Be interested in what other people are doing and what they are interested in. Ask questions and engage in conversations to really find out who people are. Maybe it’s someone at work or church and you really think they are friend material- ask them about their family. Ask them about what they do for fun, if they have traveled anywhere? Listen and start by engaging in conversation that interests them!
Go to events and get involved! Find a Mom Group (like Work.Mom.Repeat), a church group, a networking group, a club for a hobby you have and GO to some events. ***Of course you must take Covid precautions, but even with Covid people are finding creative ways to “host” events both live and virtual.
Initiate a coffee or lunch with someone you’d like to get to know better!
When you go to an event set a goal to meet 2-3 new people!
Smile! Sometimes we look intimidating when we are nervous or shy.
Reconnect with an old friend! Send a text or quick call to an old friend.
Use an app to help keep in touch - Marco Polo, SnapChat, GroupMe are some fun ones.
Use natural calendar events as a way to create a meetup- A birthday, a holiday, a season, a celebration of success can all be reasons to grab the kids and head to the park or to schedule a girls night out!
Set a reminder and follow up. Don’t be a stalker… but don’t have a great time at the park and then ghost this new friend for a month. For those people a bit more disconnected from your daily path, set a reminder to text them in 2 weeks or call them once a month to stay in touch.
At Work.Mom.Repeat one of our main goals in 2021 is to help women connect. Please check out our event page for an opportunity to meet career minded women, with kids - in the trenches of life. We are a fun group and would LOVE a chance to meet you! Who knows? Your next new friend could be at our next meetup!