Finding Your Purpose: When Dissatisfaction turns to Contentment

Have you ever had those days where you ask yourself “what is my purpose?”

Or maybe the question looks more like this: “is this all there is to life?”

Many times, it feels like a never-ending cycle of striving.

Striving for the promotion, the raise, the status. Really just striving for more! I would bet, if most of us were honest, we would admit we aren’t as content as we hoped to be. Probably many of us feel dissatisfied or discontent.

We’ve been programmed to believe dissatisfaction/discontentment is a bad thing. We’ve been told when we feel like this the only natural course of action is to strive for more. For some, this might look like working extra-long hours and taking on more projects to fill that void, or maybe going on a shopping spree to feel like we are successful, or maybe we fill our calendar with social events to make us feel connected. However, rarely do these things work. They are temporary band-aids to a much bigger problem.

Now, there is nothing wrong with dreams, or goals, or getting connected. Those are good and essential things. However, when the striving for more leads to depletion and depression, we have missed the mark.

I hate admitting this, but I have been caught up in the cycle of striving. I’ve always had a vision of what I wanted my life to look like and where I wanted to be. If I accomplishment ______, then _____. The “if this, then that” mentality is dangerous. It robs us of something much greater. See, the problem with this mentality is you start to attach your worth to your accomplishments.

When you attach who you are and were created to be to a list of goals, you become nothing more than the next accomplishment/goal/status on the list. There will never be enough accomplishments in the world to make you feel important or worthy.

So how do you fight this urge to strive for more and instead find your God given purpose?

First, you need to assess your life.

·        Do you feel exhausted most of the time?

·        Are you dissatisfied in your current job/position?

·        Are you over-spending in order to fit a particular status?

·        Are your relationships empty?

·        Do you find joy in your daily life?

·        What makes you angry, joyful, excited or passionate?

Next, realize dissatisfaction can be a good thing! Sometimes its exactly what we need to get a perspective shift. Dissatisfaction/Discontentment can actually be a sign God might have something more in store for you, if you are willing to surrender your goals and dreams. God’s plan sometimes get disrupted because we decided we know what’s best, instead of obeying what He has been calling us to do.

Then, seek wise counsel. Talk to people you trust (family/friends/mentors/pastors) about your feelings and ask them to share their thoughts about your passions and gifts. Many times, we don’t see where our giftings lie and it takes a new perspective. Other times, we don’t want to see those gifts or passions, because it would be scary or maybe not as glamorous as we like.

My husband always thought he would be in a pastoring role. He’s a great teacher; however, he is 100% gifted with administration. He is organized and methodical. He’s also very task oriented. He struggled with aligning his passions with his gifting, but ultimately when he accepted his gifting and a position that aligned with those, He has never been happier. He’s also never been more successful. Sometimes we must accept those things, even if it looks different than what we dreamed it would look like.  

Those passions and gifts God has given you are like little seeds. However, in order to watch them grow and be fulfilled you have to water them. You can ignore them! The minute you strive for something else, or attempt to be someone you aren’t you will feel that longing and tugging on your heart. There will be a holy discontentment that shows up.

I’ve learned over the last couple of years, sometimes its better to rest than to strive. Sometimes we need to be a place of prayerful consideration, where we have the time to seek God, enjoy rest, and prepare our hearts for what is next, than running after another goal just to keep moving. Sometimes forward movement means more back tracking.

So today, ask yourself if you are striving or resting? Do you feel peace where you are? If not, don’t ignore that discontentment. Struggle with! Ask God to reveal his purpose for your life and be willing to let things go in order to rest and be able to walk in obedience to what God has called you to do.

 Dr. Clayr Schreiner LPC, - Founder of Work.Mom.Repeat

Thank you Clayr for such a great perspective! We are so thankful for your leadership!