Just a Few Mom Friends?
Mom Friends - Is anyone out there?
We want to connect, we really do! Often we are busy, tired, and have full lives already...but there is this desire to find a friend that we can have a do life with WHILE being a mom.
Most of us don’t want to give up time with our kids to be social. If you ask me to pick after a busy week at work, I’m picking my kids every time. Deep inside though I crave that person I can say ANYTHING to, the friend I can have compassionate conversations about what I’m experiencing, and someone to “do life” with.
So… I admit I want a mom friend… what’s stopping me? Insecurity? Schedules?Expectations? Personality Differences? Parenting Choices?
The LIE: FEAR takes over our brain and creates most of these reasons! -You think “THIS NEVER WILL WORK” We create an inner dialogue, believing “they aren’t going to like me,” “I’m weird,” “my kids are weird,” “my parenting isn’t good,” “my personality isn’t fun,” “my schedule is too busy,” “they won’t clean up after their kid,” “they will show up with a sick kid” …
The Truth: There are so many things about you that are EXACTLY what someone needs! Your ideas, your humor, your messy playroom, your dishes sitting in the sink are EXACTLY what will give comfort and confidence to a woman struggling to keep her head above water. Everyone has these same insecurities and just wants someone to be real with. When you put down the walls and let someone in, their walls will come down too! Take whatever excuse you have and find a way around it because if you don’t … you’re right … this never will work. Remember thoughts can be a powerful tool. If you go into a situation with negative thoughts the result will be negative behaviors. Your thoughts ultimately influence your feelings, which will ultimately affect your behavior. Be Confident and put yourself out there, you never know when you'll meet that one of a kind mom friend.
Practical Tip: You must look for more things in common with this friend than simply the bond of motherhood. IF the only thing you share is you are both moms and had babies in June… it is going to be awkward. Look in places that line up with things you care about: church, work associates, or maybe a common hobby (barre class or Pinterest cooking board shares). Remember this is your friend too- not just the mom of your kid’s friend- so this needs to have potential beyond- I gave birth in June.
Challenge: This week think of one person you know that has a child of similar age to yours and do one thing with them. Even if it’s just let’s grab ice cream with the kids after we pick them up from daycare. It doesn’t have to be a four-hour playdate with snacks and planned activity!
Leia Hardimon
Director of Communications and Fundraising