Asking for Help
The Secret Every Mom Needs: Asking For Help
Have you ever had one of those days?
Child A has to go to a choir performance, Child B has to go dancing and Child C is sick… You have a project due for work and 3 more calls to make before you log out for the day? Maybe you have dance visitation days along with the PTA auction and a corporate presentation - you might just feel overwhelmed by all the obligations staring back at you.
Anyone else been there?
I am there more than I like to admit; however, I have a secret I would like to share with you mamas out there.
Guess what… it’s OKAY TO ASK FOR HELP!
We have this crazy mental block, as moms that if we ask for help we are weak or failing somehow. I challenge you to think differently- if you ask for help you are actually able to multiply your impact and focus your own time on things that are specifically “YOU”.
Dream with me for just a second… what if you could focus on things you are really good at and enjoy, what if you could pull off those great ideas without having to actually do them all yourself? AND what if the things you are not good at (or hate doing) you let someone else take over?
Grab a pen and dream with me for a minute… (My examples are below)
Think of things that you really want to do that are literally at the core of who you are. When you are doing them time flies, you don’t worry how long it’s taking, you flow with expertise, knowledge, joy and you can’t wait to be in that moment again.
Now think of the awesome things you want to be done but you really don’t care how they get done. You really want to do these things - possibly even more than you do now- but you don’t always have the time/energy/drive/passion - to do them.
Now think of the things that must be done but you despise them.
Leia’s examples:
Choreography, Reading with my kids, Planning an event, writing, Stars games with my husband, planning performances, boutique work.
Gifts for teachers, meals for neighbors or sick friends, clean house, organizing a closet, ordering supplies for an event.
Running errands, making calls to schedule appointments, mailing packages for boutique, teaching math to my homeschoolers.
The first lie we must erase is “I must do it all” Second lie, “I can’t afford help.”
Here are 8 ways to ask for help:
Trade with a friend or co-worker. Example: I will Meal-Prep a double portion this week because I LOVE to cook. Can you put together teacher gifts for our kids or plan my kid’s birthday party?
Find a teen or college student: teens are great at running errands, doing projects, driving your kids to activities. They want income. They are creative and love to be challenged with “handling something”- give them a chance to shine!
Trade services or items- I once traded a playset for my backyard for 10 private lessons of dance!
Trade childcare hours with another mom. You get 2 hours on Tuesday…. She gets 2 on Friday. Create a little trading program with a small group of moms.
Your kids are capable of so much more than you think! Award privileges and screen time rewards or pay them a bit to do simple tasks that take things off your plate. (Sweep the porch, clean windows, sort socks, organize jewelry drawer, scan paperwork, research for you, set up spreadsheets)
Set up a carpool! You only drive to and from soccer once a month…? That gives you hours back every month!
Apps like Favor, Takl, and TaskRabbit- allow you to delegate tasks and errands and pay a very small fee. Need popcorn for a movie night at church- Favor has it picked up and delivered. Need a piece of furniture repaired, built or a room painted… take a picture and have Tackl or TaskRabbit take care of it for you! (I literally had a room painted while I organized a closet… 2 projects--- BOOM)
Hire a housekeeper once/twice a month for a deeper clean. Look back at your #1 list- is this a task that brings you joy or income? Then let it go! Let someone help you so that you get the time back to do things that bring you $ and Joy!
Now here is my last little secret! You could HIRE AN ASSISTANT!
Ok- before you say I can’t afford that… There is a value to your time. Remember you have a limited amount of time. Sometimes buying an hour or two back to do something else is way more valuable than it actually costs.
I pay someone for about 5-10 hours a week of help. These are the kinds of things I have them do… run to cleaners, donate items, sell things, organize, put together gifts, light office work, returns, gift pickup, oil changes, car wash, vet and groomer appointments for pets, make calls requesting bids or scheduling appointments, driving my kids, creating Pinterest boards for events or ideas that I want to tackle AND running errands for us! If you go into this kind of partnership with a bullet point list – and set a budget THIS WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!
Leia Hardimon Director of Communications and Fundraising