Why Parenting Style(s) Are So Important?
Over the years research has shown that genetics and environment have about an equal influence on human traits. A child’s attitude and success in life are directly related to their environment and the parenting style they experienced growing up.
In the 1960s a developmental Psychologist from UC Berkeley named Diana Baumrind did a study with preschoolers to observe their different types of behavior. She observed that there were three main types of parenting styles, and each type of behavior a child exhibited was directly correlated to their specific kind of parenting (a fourth style was added later on in the 1980s). It is important to be aware of our own parenting styles, how our parents raised us, and how this affects our children today.
Different parenting styles can lead to different child development and outcomes later in life, and parents influence their kids through specific practices, like encouraging outdoor play or helping with homework. Research has shown that a child who is raised in a warm, supportive, and loving home is more likely to be independent and successful with higher self-esteem later in life.
The Four Main Parenting Styles
- Authoritarian (Disciplinarian)
- Authoritative
- Permissive (Indulgent)
- Neglectful (Uninvolved - added later on in 1983 by Maccoby and Martin)
Qualities or Characteristics of Each Parenting Style
- Authoritarian: these parents typically expect their orders to be followed or obeyed without question and rely on punishment (or the threat of punishment) to control their children. They have high expectations, strict household rules and rules for life, and are more unresponsive to their children’s emotional needs. This parent is usually more rigid, harsh, and demanding, and abusive parents tend to fall into this category (but of course not all Authoritarian parents are abusive towards their children).
- Authoritative: these parents encourage their children to be responsible, think for themselves, and to consider the reason for rules. They have a high level of demand from their children but are also very responsive to their kids’ needs. This parent tends to be firm but not rigid, and willing to make exceptions. The parent is also warm, has clear rules and expectations, but is very supportive and values their children’s independence. This is seen as the “ideal” parenting style.
- Permissive: this parenting style is characterized by low demand and high responsiveness. This parent is typically overly responsive to their kids’ demands, and rarely enforces rules. They are responsive and warm, but tend to lack structure in the household and are pretty lenient. Many “spoiled” children come from this kind of home.
- Neglectful: this parenting style involves little emotional support and usually does not enforce rules or standards. These parents are a lot like the permissive ones, but they are not as nurturing or warm. They provide their children with the basic needs of food and shelter, but not much else, and tend to be uninvolved or indifferent.
Child Qualities and Effects of Each Parenting Style
- Authoritarian: these children tend to grow up to be more anxious, withdrawn, have poor reactions to frustration, might struggle in school, and have poorer social skills. They are more likely to suffer from anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem early on, and occasionally increase in aggressive or defiant behavior over time. As a young children, they may not be involved in alcohol or substance use, but once they leave the home this tends to increase as they no longer have such high expectations or rules that are enforced.
- Authoritative: these children overall have a happy disposition, are self-confident, have higher emotional regulation and social skills, and are less rigid about gender type traits. They have lower levels of mental illness and delinquency, are securely attached, and research has shown that having at least one authoritative parent can make a big difference to the child.
- Permissive: This is characterized by poor emotion regulation, rebellious or defiant behaviors when desires are challenged, low persistence to challenging tasks, and antisocial behaviors. This child may be more impulsive and have problems within relationships.
- Neglectful: These children/young adults tend to have more impulsive behavior, delinquency, alcohol or substance use/abuse, and a higher rate of attempted suicide.
How to Raise a Healthy Child in an Authoritative Household
If you are wondering how to be more Authoritative with your child, research has shown a few things can make a big difference. Working on being warm and responsive can help your child feel securely attached and not internalize their problems. Try to talk to your children about their thoughts, feelings, and problems, and avoid reprimanding your child for intellectual mistakes by saying things like “I am so disappointed in you”. Encourage independence and problem solving on their own also helps a child feel more self-confident. Parenting styles can be influenced by culture and society, but these are all some important things to keep in mind when raising your kids.
Stephanie Richards, MA LPC