Getting those Goals Back on Track

Goal Setting

If you’re anything like me, you may already be having a tough time keeping some of those resolutions you made as the clock struck midnight on January 1st.  Or maybe you’ve been so busy that you haven’t had a chance to think about your goals for the year.  Whatever the case may be, we hope these tips will help you make and reach your goals.

1. Be realistic

There’s nothing wrong with thinking big.  It’s rewarding to achieve a goal that maybe scared you a little bit when you made it.  But don’t set yourself up for failure by committing to more daily changes than anyone can possibly do in 24 hours.  Or if your doctor told you to refrain from strenuous exercise right now, maybe this isn’t the year to resolve to run a marathon.

2. Be specific

Sometimes when we set general goals like “eat healthier,” it’s easy to fall short, or think you’ve fallen short, because you didn’t define the parameters of success in the first place.  For instance, instead of saying you want to “eat healthier,” maybe resolve to eat a serving of fruit every day for breakfast.  Then, at the end of the day, there’s no question whether you actually did what you resolved to do.  Some other examples of how to make some common goals more specific are:  

• Instead of resolving to be nicer to your family, resolve to compliment or give thanks to your spouse/partner/kids a certain number of times each day.

• Instead of resolving to spend more quality time with your family, resolve to spend 30 minutes of one-on-one time with each kid every week, set a certain number of date nights with your spouse per month/year, set up a specific “family time” each week, etc.

• Instead of resolving to reach out more to friends, resolve to call or text a friend once a week.

• Instead of resolving to exercise more, resolve to walk a certain amount of steps each day or do a certain number of workouts each week. 

3. Break big goals down into smaller ones

Maybe this is the year you will finally get rid of the clutter in your house, but you feel overwhelmed every time you think about it.  Remember - you don’t have to declutter the entire house in one weekend.  Take it room by room, corner by corner, or drawer by drawer.  Whatever works for you.  But the idea is to break this very big and noble goal down into small, measurable, and achievable steps. 

Likewise, maybe you want to run a 5k, but you haven’t laced up your running shoes in a long time.  Start with walking and build up to running.  Then build up to more running, and before you know it, you’re running 30-40 minutes without taking a break.

As they say, you build a walk brick by brick.  The same is true of your goals.  Little by little, bit by bit, your daily changes will help you achieve big results.

4. Progress, not perfection

There will be days, maybe even a string of days sometimes, when the baby is crying (or maybe the teenager is crying), you burn dinner, you have more work deadlines than you can count, and you just can’t fit in everything on your list.  Listen, that does not mean you’ve failed or need to throw in the towel.  It means you’re human.  One or two “off” days will not sabotage your progress.  Just get back on track as soon as you can and keep going.

5. Hold yourself accountable, or ask someone else to

It’s amazing how writing a goal down somehow makes it real.  Taking the next step of sharing the goal with someone may make you even more likely to stick to it.  If you have someone to actually achieve the goal with you, even better.  A few years ago, I resolved to run a half marathon.  I had barely run a 5k before that, but my sister-in-law committed to running with me, and you’d better believe that knowing she was keeping up with the daily workouts helped me stay on track with my training.  You know yourself and what works best for you.  It could be as simple as downloading an app that helps you track daily progress.  Whatever the case may be, speak the goal into existence somehow and get someone to help you stay on track if needed.

6. Set yourself up for success

One of my high school teachers used to say “prior planning prevents poor performance.”  So, if you want to ensure you go on that run in the morning, lay your clothes out the night before and make sure those running shoes are staring you in the face when your alarm goes off.  Or if your goal is to read your Bible more, keep it in a place where you’re most likely to actually see it, pick it up, and read it.  Set timers, make appointments on your calendar, or do whatever else you need to do to confirm you remember to make time for what you’ve determined matters most to you this year.  

7. Involve your family if needed

If you’re trying to spend 10-15 minutes a day tidying up the house, and your kids are old enough to help, ask them to help.  Or if you’re trying to cook healthier meals for your family, let them know why you’re doing it (to help everyone under your roof live a healthier life!), and again, have them help you cook if they’re old enough to do so.  When your goals affect the entire family, it will be easier to keep them if everyone is on board.

8. Be flexible, and reassess as needed

Perhaps you’ve been trying to cook 3 or 4 nights a week, but just discovered that one of your kids has an allergy, or worse, an illness that requires a special diet.  Look, this is not the time to beat yourself up for relying on specially prepared meals or making the same meal over and over until you figure out something else your child can actually eat.

Maybe you resolved to set aside 15 minutes for yourself everyday, but you’ve discovered that you are never alone or not shuttling kids around on Tuesdays.  Like never.  Except when you finally get to go to bed.  Maybe your “me” time on those days means listening to a kid-appropriate podcast while you get everyone where they need to go, or taking a book in your purse so you can at least get in a few quiet moments while you wait in the parking lot.

9. Take a deep breath, and remember you are loved.

Listen, you are more than just a set of goals and resolutions.  You’re a mom who loves her family and works hard for them every day.  The sheer act of shepherding your kids through their days, managing the family schedule, getting your work done, and somehow managing to get up to do it all over again day after day is no small feat, mama.  Goal-setting is not intended to discourage you or bring all of your perceived shortcomings to the forefront.  Rather, think about what positive changes you want to make for yourself and your family, get excited about those changes, and then take that first step.  You can do it! 

Abigail (Abby) Foreman lives in Carrollton, Texas with her husband and two daughters. She is an attorney by day, and an amateur dance and soccer mom on nights and weekends.

Contact: Aforeman@aforemanlaw.com